Okay, I really don’t get this. I’ve been reading over some of my older chapters lately, and I decided to read over my sex scene, (Feeling Filthy – Showtime Virgin: Chapter 8, I believe it is.) Now, I had two different versions. The censored version that I uploaded to ff.net – which goes up to the point where Miri and Tolle undress, then cuts off, and the full, uncut version that I thought I’d uploaded here. I look on here the other day, and I can’t find the full version. Sure, the post is entitled “NSFW,” but it only contains the censored version that’s on ff.net, that has most of the chapter missing. The full chapter was several thousand words long, and it’s not on here
As you can imagine, I was a little embarrassed. I must have got the two mixed up and posted the uncut version to ff.net.
No, ff.net has the short, censored version too. So I must have posted the censored chapter to both sites. Okay. Strange that nobody mentioned it to me. The ff.net one contains a url directing people to the full version here. People clearly read it, one person even complimented me on it, saying it was better than some others they had read. They even asked me for some advice on writing their own sex scene, and told me how it is similar to mine (in that it contained an oral scene,) so they must have read the full version.
Now all of this wouldn’t be so tragic, if I had a backup, but I don’t. I did have one, but now it’s gone. As in, the document is literally blank. I don’t have either version in my writing folder. Even my backup 7z doesn’t have it… which makes sense, since I only have the one backup and overwrite it each time… I should consider a saver backup method. The only other backup I can think of would be on my phone, which I was using to proofread it on the go – which caused a whole host of problems with the text duplicating itself. I don’t know why. I think this chapter was cursed from the offset. It was good practice, but now I have nothing to show for it. Cruel ironies abound, I literally just formatted my phone’s SD card less than a week ago, since it’s become damaged… probably caused by my phone’s random shutoffs ever since I installed a battery monitor app (take my advice, avoid!) I did a factory reset, which has improved it, and formatted my card, but I must not have backed up my old documents folder. I guess I figured I wouldn’t need it anymore, since I no longer use my phone for writing.
What this means is that the chapter is gone forever. If there is a copy of the full chapter online, or if anyone has downloaded a copy, could you please let me know. I need it back. This chapter took me two years to write. Two fucking years! Granted, most of the time working on it was taken up by writers block and proofreading issues, but that’s still a long time and a lot of fucking work. It was so long ago now that I can’t even remember the content, so it’s not like I can just recreate it. Iven if it were possible, I’m not sure I could bring myself to do it.
So yeah, here I am, ranting imploringly. If anyone knows what’s happened, or can help me recover this chapter, I’d greatly appreciate it.